Of Lovers and Dancers: What Pole Dancing and Love Have in Common

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Of Lovers and Dancers: What Pole Dancing and Love Have in Common

When you think of pole dancing, love probably isn’t one of the first things that pops into your mind; it sure wasn’t for me when I first started out. When I thought of love, I thought of a feeling of euphoria and having my heart and mind wrapped around the person (or thing) I had my sights on. When I thought of pole dancing I thought of strippers, super high heels and ladies shaking it [their bums] on stage for a few bucks. It wasn’t until I joined the ranks as a proud pole athlete that I saw the connections between pole dancing and love and still carry it with me today.

We’ve all been in love before. We all know the amazing feeling of having the object of your affection pass a glance at you, grab your hand, steal a kiss or two or even on a more basic level, those butterflies you get when the guy or girl you like is in the same room as you. As your puppy love grows from funny feelings and affections, an actual connection starts to form as in any budding relationship turned serious; it’s the exact same thing as pole dancing.

I’m sure you’re first walk around the pole was a tease and probably something you thought of as a naughty fantasy come to life; not so said the pole addict. After a few pole turns and maybe a pole polish or two, you start to develop real feelings for pole and begin to develop that budding relationship. Maybe not with the pole itself, but rather with your self.

You See, Pole Dancing And Love Are Very Similar

While in love, you do things you never thought you’d do, try things that at the time make you uncomfortable and no matter what, through blood, sweat, tears and pole burn, will fight through to the end to keep things going. While in a relationship you’re sure to go through ups and downs and maybe a few broken hearts. That doesn’t stop you from seeking love again, does it? No! Once the tears subside and your hurt heart mends you jump back on the horse and continue to seek out that love you read about in fairy tales and see on reality shows. The same goes for pole dancing.

You will experience pole burn that makes a real [fire] burn seem like a scrape and get bumps, bruises and maybe your pride hurt a little but that will not stop you from dusting yourself off and getting back on the pole. You become so determined to master that next tough move that the bruises of honor you’ve earned and the dull-aching burn mean nothing until you meet your mark. This too applies in love; no matter what heartache you endure you continue to seek out the good stuff and will not allow your heart to rest until you do.

At some point, that true love and true connection with your pole will come to you and the similarities become remarkably uncanny. You see, in pole dancing you have to let go of all of you inhibitions if you want to ‘fly’ as we say at the studio I train in. In order to really ‘fly’ you have to be confident in your body and relax if you want to nail those angelic moves we see on YouTube videos. If you hold back, the move is either botched or downright impossible because you wont fully let yourself go. Only when you truly let go will you master the move and find the courage to ‘fly’.

In love, its of the utmost importance that you pour your all into it. Yes, its possible that you can get hurt (much like in pole dancing), but how would you ever really know the full extent of how amazing love could be on the other side if you never truly try? Modest love isn’t really love at all; it’s a place holder. If you want the real deal, knock your socks off, Disney story kind of love you have to put it all out there. As in pole, if you never truly let yourself go, how would you know what you can truly do? Its simple. If you want true love to work you have to bare it all. If you want to be a true pole athlete you must do the same. I know its scary (I still get a little nervous when I practice a new move and still get nervous sometimes in my marriage as well) but if you want true love to abound you have to let go, let God and relax. Likewise, if you want to ‘fly’ you have to get on the pole, let go of whatever is holding you down (stress, personal drama, negative thoughts, etc.), relax and let your inner goddess do the rest.

Category: Discussion

About Che'mar Micou

Hello all!

My name is Che'mar and I'm an avid pole athlete and blogger and excited to share my pole journey with you! I've been poling for nearly a little over eight months now and can't believe I waited so long to get started! Initially I was drawn to pole dancing because I was captivated by the acrobatics of it all and the strength I assumed it took to complete some of those moves. After getting over the initial hurdle actually going to a pole dancing class) and not being weighed down by "I just can't do it! They're gonna laugh at me! I can't dance!" thoughts, I stuck with it. I'm the type of girl that really loves a challenge so being determined to master those tough moves and not be defeated by a pole kept me coming back to class. Also because pole dancing was much more fun then lifting weights, a whole lot sexier, more fun and challenging! My relationship with the pole started off as a love/hate romance but once I let go of my inhibitions the hate faded away and the love remained. Next thing I know I was buying my own pole and developing my own pole motto:

"If I can [insert life challenge] then I can work a pole!"

To all the ladies out there who want to try pole dancing but get hung up on the negative let me be the one to tell you: you can do it! I was and still am most days pretty tomboyish and at the start of my pole journey wasn't very graceful and was the opposite of everything I'd imagined for a pole dancer but overcame it all so I know you can do it to! Pole dancing is SO much fun! You'll build confidence, get in shape, feel sexy (that part is awesome!) and do so much more if you take the leap of faith, hang up the doubt and hit the pole!

With love,


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One Comment to “Of Lovers and Dancers: What Pole Dancing and Love Have in Common”

  1. I would do anything for “the” Love “Of Pole”
    The way you described the relationship to your pole is perfect. Keep going Lady.

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