Discovering Your Inner Goddess

All women are beautiful, strong and fearless and I’m sure that all parties can agree that this is best displayed in pole dancing. At the same time though, as a fledgling poler myself I know the awkward feeling of uncertainty and nervousness when it comes time to hit the pole (especially is people are watching. Yikes!).

In times of doubt and when the negative thoughts start rolling in, my inner goddess is there to set me straight and keep me going.

My inner goddess (her name is Sunshine and she’s awesome!) is the one who comes from within and takes over when I start to get down on myself or just too nervous when it comes to pole dancing. I be filled with doubts about my abilities, nervous about my body and downright scared when it comes to trying some of these new moves but Sunshine has nerves of steel, is graceful and just who I need on my side when I hang up my uniform when I come home from work and slip on my booty shorts and tank top for pole dancing. As much as I’d love to, I can’t take full credit for the term “inner goddess”. This was taught to me at the pole dancing studio I train at (Fit for a Goddess, Hawaii). We believe that all women have an inner goddess and its our job as women, particularly as pole dancers, to keep her alive, well and awaken her when the time is needed.

Sure, you may not feel like you can do something, but those doubts wont stop you inner goddess!

An easy example of what I’m getting at is world renowned, Grammy winning, R&B singer Beyonce. The Houston, TX native has stated in many interviews that she’s a quiet, mild mannered, girl that prefers quiet evening at home with family to going out partying. Shocking, right? When you see her videos, listen to her music or see her perform you’d think she’s a powerhouse of energy that loves the limelight. “I’ve created an alter ego” said the songstress in an interview with Marie Claire. “I wouldn’t like Sasha if I met her off stage. She’s too aggressive, too strong, too sassy, too sexy! I’m not like her in real life at all. I’m not flirtatious and super-confident and fearless like her”.

Goddess or Alter Ego?

Unlike Beyonce however, I prefer the term inner goddess to alter ego. You see, an alter ego implies that person you’re acting as isn’t quite you and generally, when an alter ego is present you’re doing things that either A) you wouldn’t normally do or B) just aren’t in your usual character. Although her story emphasizes the point well (the importance of discovering your inner goddess), take a look at the particulars of her statement: “I wouldn’t like Sasha if I met her off stage”. For the sake of Beyonce’s profession this may be acceptable but maybe not so much for us as pole dancers. In my opinion, as pole dancers we’re proud of what we do and how hard we work! In knowing this I don’t think we want an alter ego that’s anything other than the fun, fearless, pole warriors we are! What we want instead is to bring out our inner goddess. Your inner goddess is not another person or an alter ego; rather she is an embodiment of everything that makes you-you but may have been repressed for whatever reason.

Due to life circumstances and binds put on us by society (ladies should be this, women should be that, blah blah blah!) its quite possible that your inner goddess is buried pretty deep and may take a little searching to get her back. That’s okay! I’m here to help you find her, bring her back to the surface and let her get some air!

Rediscovering Your Inner Goddess

The first step of rediscovering your inner goddess is to think: in an ideal situation, what would I do? How would I dress? Where would I go? Am I an early bird or do I prefer the night life? Keep in mind your answers should be based on an ideal situation; no responsibilities, requirements or expectations on you. In my case, in an ideal situation I’d spend my time traveling, learning new things like new pole tricks and how to play the electric guitar, I would travel as far as my passport would let me, I’d be permanently dressed for summer (I love skirts, dresses, high heels) and would sleep in everyday but be up and at ’em once night hits. With these answers in mind, its pretty clear that my inner goddess is adventurous.

Next, think of some ladies you admire or adore. What draws you to them? There’s a sporting chance that whatever it is that draws you to them is part of your inner goddess gasping for air. Again, using myself as an example, I adore Rihanna. I think she’s one of the coolest women of my generation! One thing I admire most about Rihanna is that she does what she does no matter who’s looking and in times of scrutiny, gossip and all the other madness associated with her lifestyle, she stays true to herself and doesn’t change her style, attitude and appearance for anyone. In addition, aside from being a wild child (or so it seems) Rihanna has made it pretty apparent over the years that her friends, family and loved ones are still a top priority in her life and always makes time to show how much she cares. Since these are the traits that stick out most about Rihanna to me, I can infer that my inner goddess marches to the beat of her own drum but when the beat subsides, is still a kind person at heart..

The last step in discovering you inner goddess is figuring out what brings her to life. What really gets your juices flowing and gets you in your element? Do you feel most comfortable in the party scene with lots of music? Do you enjoy reading at home and quiet evenings? Do you feel your best when meeting and interacting with new people? This is most important step in discovering your inner goddess so when completing this last task whether it be actually trying things out or having a heart to heart with yourself, don’t hold back! If you feel your best with music playing and dancing around the studio, have at it! Relax, let go of your inhibitions and see where it takes you! If when your pulse starts to race and you just feel like you can’t contain yourself when certain music comes on, that’s probably what awakens your inner goddess! If you enjoy reading a good book, researching things or enjoy quiet meditation that’s usually a pretty good indicator that your inner goddess is awakened by the quest for knowledge! No matter what gets her attention, make sure you nurture your inner goddess and keep that pathway open for her to come out sometimes. Not only will you love yourself even more for it but it’ll help you get that extra “umph!” when its pole dancing time.

Now that we’ve gone through the steps, take a little time to discover your inner goddess or get reacquainted with her! She’s not an alter ego but rather she is you in your purest, rawest, unedited, fun, fearless, ready to rock and roll form! Once you’ve gotten to know your inner goddess and what makes her tick, when you’re feeling nervous about that new pole trick or not sure if you’re ready to try that new inverted pose you saw on YouTube you can count on her to get you through it! Outside of the studio (or your home for those of you that have poles at your house) your inner goddess can come in quite handy as well. You see, unlike an alter ego, since your inner goddess is simply you in your purest form, you don’t have to fake it or chant a mantra or anything like that to bring her out. Just relax, take a deep breathe, awaken her and let her (help) guide you. Feeling nervous about asking your boss for some time off? No worries! Let your inner goddess help you through that. You may be a little nervous, but that little spark inside (your inner goddess) isn’t! Stressed about a project at work? Don’t let it get to you! Grab your radio or “how to” guide book or whatever awakens your goddess and let her creativity work through you.The project will come out amazing and you’ll continue to be even more amazed at what you can do!

Whether it be on the pole or off the pole please remember to keep calm and listen to your inner goddess!

Comments From the PoleFreaks Community:

  1. Che’mar, I train at Fit for a Goddess too! I’ve been going for nearly a year now.
    I love your post. The goddess focus at Fit for a Goddess has been so good for my soul. Even so, I never really thought about naming/nurturing an inner goddess of my own. I thought about it the other day – my first day back at the studio since before Thanksgiving. (I have such a hard time w/the whole sexy aspect of pole. I feel like a robot!) I’m going to explore invoking/developing my own inner goddess.
    I’m going to try sending you a friend request on FB (I’m friends w/(instructor) Gina). I’d love to cross paths with you one day . . . or at least chat/message a bit about learning pole.

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