What It’s Really Like to Date a Pole Dancer

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What It’s Really Like to Date a Pole Dancer

So I know what you’re thinking; you’ve read many variations of this article over and over again, right?

Well hopefully here’s a different take… 🙂

Last year, my partner James and I decided that we wanted to do a doubles routine for our Christmas Showcase.

So we worked super hard and managed to pull-off a performance that (we think) entertained the audience.

Since then James has been coming to class, workshops and even having privates with some of the polers I travel to train with!

So while he’s out of the house I wanted to write:

“What It’s Really Like To Date A Pole Dancer”

He Thinks He Knows It All

When he comes to class he knows the rules and listens just like everyone else.

When it’s just us two, there’s no chance. He’ll ask me how to do a move, then when I’m one sentence in explaining, he nods and says ‘I’ve got it’ before I’ve even had a chance to finish.

A few yelps of pain later and he starts to properly listen to me explaining how you get into a pole seat! (One move as a guy that you do not want to get wrong! Ouch!)

He Tries to Run Before He Can Walk

“I’m going to try a Shoulder Mount today.”

Needless to say, up he went. (After the shirt came off and the noises of pain came out, of course.) It’s now his favourite move. Oh and this was VERY early on in his pole career, while I was packing the poles away after class… hence not in class, and so he can be as stupid as he wants. I think it was the first invert that he tried!

He Finally Understands Pain

I kind of get a sick pleasure knowing that we can finally share what pole pain is really all about. He’s helped and spotted me through so many ouchy moves that he now finally gets it.

He’s Too Long

My one is a tall one (He’s 6’6″).

Of course I know he’s tall, but it never really occurred to me that in a Butterfly he can be touching both the top and the bottom of the stage pole at the same time.

On the plus side we now have a space where we can put higher poles up 🙂

He Wants (and Needs) Constant Attention

We’ll be in a workshop trying something that neither of us have tried before, and he’ll stop me doing it to say ‘come and watch me’… about fifty times.

I do love that he’s enjoying it so much… but maybe next time I’ll be more demanding 😉

When You Don’t Know Who Has The Shorter Shorts

James is a very, very funny man and doesn’t mind making himself look silly – and often tries to.

So imagine my surprise in the first class when the speedos came out!

He went from t-shirt and long shorts to vest and speedos in not much time at all. But we all need the grip. I’d wear shorter shorts if I could, but there’s not much to the ones I wear already!

He Thinks-Up Ridiculous Doubles Tricks

We want to do more doubles routines and tricks and think that with the size difference between us we can come up with some cool moves.

The problem is that he likes to think of crazy things that I’m not sure are even possible – or things that we just aren’t ready for. But being the trooper I am, I give it a go, and usually end up in awkward positions.

It’s always very funny though.

We Both Have The Same Hobby

I really like that we both have pole to enjoy. I can take him to all of the competitions, workshops and events that I can find.

It’s great when I say I need spotting in a move, and he knows what the move is, and what to do. We quite often travel now and try and visit awesome polers together.

My partner is a poler and I’m really proud 😀

Category: Discussion

About Holly Munson

Holly started pole dancing after admiring the grace, skill and elegance of pole performances and immediately falling in love with the style. After half a decade of bruises, struggling and then the satisfaction of success, her own pole school Firefly Poles was born. The vision is to share that same passion with others.

Holly wished that there was more Pole Dancing help available when I was learning, so now she aims to provide that help through writing, blogging and teaching here on PoleFreaks.

Holly is also a Level 4 advanced personal trainer and an ambassador for Dragonfly pole wear, and also writes regularly for the Dragonfly blog .

Recent Pole Competition Results:


  • Miss Pole Dance UK Semi-Pro Instructor: 1st Place


  • Pole2Pole Professional Cup Essex Heat: 2nd Place
  • Pole2Pole Professional Cup Final: 1st Place
  • Pole2Pole British Isles Pole Dance Champs: 1st Place

Pole Dance Classes in Norwich

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