I kept so many of my pole pictures hidden for so long from most of the people that I knew. Not because I was worried what they would think about pole fitness – most already knew, but because I would worry my moves wouldn’t look good enough.
Whenever I put a picture up, I force myself to think about whether I look strong enough, flexible or even confident in the move. Not in a vain way, but I worry that I’m not 100% perfect in everything I put out there, and that people will judge me.
If I know a move isn’t as perfect as many other polers can do it, I feel the need to make excuses for myself – I may have been tired that day, or been poling for 5 hours already. I might have been super slippery. I can make up a million excuses.
Why Does It Matter?
I’ve got to the point now where I’ve realised that people love to comment, and unfortunately it’s not all good. Most people who love to comment in the pole community are extremely supportive. However all it takes is that one person to bring you down.
You post things that you’ve been working so hard on, to have one person who tells you they can do it much easier and stronger, or with straighter legs or only one hand. And with that comment your confidence is knocked.
I post pictures on Facebook and people feel the need to comment on this, that or the other, which I now expect, and I’ve come to realise that you can’t please everyone – so I don’t try to. Some people will love what you do and others won’t – but it’s nothing against you.
People just love to comment, and it might not even be about the move you are posting. I posted a Floating Butterfly picture a few days ago saying how hard I found it, and after training it over and over, I finally managed to get it. Of all the comments you could possibly come up with, would you think that someone would comment on my dirty feet? Ridiculous.
Yes, my feet were dirty, and no that wasn’t the point of the picture. I wanted to scream and shout ‘Do you realise how hard this move is? It took months to get rid of the pain, and I don’t really care if my hair is a mess, or my pole clothes don’t match. Yes, my feet are dirty from the floor, not because I haven’t washed. I’m awesome and I’m proud of this.’ I’m pretty sure he wasn’t a poler, and just felt the need to join in on the pole love.
I’ve read recently about a lecturer holding up a half full glass of water. Instead of saying the usual thing about the glass being half full, she said that it’s easy enough to hold the glass for a few seconds, or even minutes perhaps, but hold it for longer and it starts hurting and getting harder.
I’ve paraphrased badly but you get the idea. This is how I’ve started to think about negative comments. I have to mentally get rid of them after a few seconds, or they’ll play on my mind and weigh me down. There’s nothing I can do about bad comments – I can let them get to me and change who I am, or I can forget them. I’m not going to change for anyone, so I’ll forget about them instead 🙂
Show The World
I will still keep posting pictures and videos, and showing people what I love to do. I’m sure there will be negative comments (and perhaps even some about this post) but oh well! They don’t bother me any more.
Keep posting your pictures – you’ve worked hard on your moves and who cares what anyone else thinks?! There might be one or two people who react badly to pole pics, but do you need their negativity in your life?
Stay positive about yourself and be positive towards others too. There’s so much pole love in this world, so let’s share it 😀