No Tears Please!

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No Tears Please!

It’s so hard in pole not to get invested. We study moves over and over, and try them out so many times on the pole. As I’m sure you’re aware, we can have great days on the pole… and then we can have awful days.

The great days are amazing. You nail a new move, or an old move you’ve been trying for ages and you’ll be smiling for days.

The bad days are just that. Pole can reduce you to tears in a matter of seconds. You feel rubbish, like you can’t do anything, ever, and almost want to give up.

But don’t.

We All Cry Over Pole

So depending on how long you’ve been poling for, you may have experienced this bad, crappy day that makes it feel like the world is ending. Trust me, we have all been there.

Physical release like pole, is fantastic when it helps get the aggression out, but when pole makes you feel bad, that’s 10 times worse.

I was in class the other day and one of the students was welling up. I asked if she was okay and she nodded. Not wanting to press it further, I didn’t. I often get people telling me their life stories, but this time was not one of them. I assumed she’d been having a bad day and it all started to come out in pole.

The week after she told me she was in a better mood and that she had almost been reduced to tears over pole the week before! She had been doing so well both weeks, it didn’t occur to me that pole was the frustration.

It’s funny to think that not being able to achieve something can make us react this way. But I get it – all the time. Sometimes I have to give up training for the day as I know I’m just getting angrier and angrier and will probably accidentally kick the pole and make it so much worse.

Wipe Those Tears Away

I can go from loving pole to hating pole in about 5 seconds. It’s important to remember how far we’ve come and that we are trying difficult things. Some moves need to be worked on for a long time. Each time you do, you’ll get closer to your goal.

It’s tough to think back to being a beginner sometimes, but I remember that I used to think I’d never be able to do anything, and now I’m trying moves that hadn’t been created when I first started. We are trying to bend and twist our bodies in ways that do not feel natural. Combine that with the strength needed to hold it, the pain of the move and the fact that we need to breath, and you realise just how hard we are working.

Pole is amazing and you are too. No matter what level you’re at, pole can frustrate, but remember how far you’ve come. Most people can’t do the things that you can. You are awesome! We are winners and winners don’t need tears. So let’s get back on the pole 😀

Category: Discussion

About Holly Munson

Holly started pole dancing after admiring the grace, skill and elegance of pole performances and immediately falling in love with the style. After half a decade of bruises, struggling and then the satisfaction of success, her own pole school Firefly Poles was born. The vision is to share that same passion with others.

Holly wished that there was more Pole Dancing help available when I was learning, so now she aims to provide that help through writing, blogging and teaching here on PoleFreaks.

Holly is also a Level 3 Personal Trainer and an ambassador for Dragonfly pole wear, and also writes regularly for the Dragonfly blog .

Recent Pole Competition Results:


  • Miss Pole Dance UK Semi-Pro Instructor: 1st Place


  • Pole2Pole Professional Cup Essex Heat: 2nd Place
  • Pole2Pole Professional Cup Final: 1st Place
  • Pole2Pole British Isles Pole Dance Champs: 1st Place


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