When The Elephant in The Room is a Pole

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When The Elephant in The Room is a Pole

Ok, so you’ve been practicing your pole spins for a while now. You’ve started to notice a slight change in your body. Your arms are looking a little more firm and your legs are becoming elongated. All of a sudden people are noticing a difference as well. Then they ask you what you’ve been doing.

So, knowing that there’s a HUGE stigma towards “Pole Dancing”, what do you say?

At this point you’re probably pretty passionate about your Poling. You’ve probably recorded yourself several times doing the same spin over and over again. You REALLY want to spread the word and tell the world “I pole dance!”.

However, you stop yourself and think twice about your answer.

When it comes to telling people about Pole Dancing I find myself sneaking around the point. Instead of saying what I do, I say “my new workout” or “I’ve taken up modern dancing”. I can’t seem to bring myself to say, loud and proud, I Pole Dance for fitness AND fun. Some of the reason why I skirt around the subject is because of where I live. Pole dancing is, in a sort, “taboo” or directly related to “stripping”. I guess I don’t want to be judged.

I find that co-workers are the hardest to tell. These are the people that you spend most of your day with. Usually you want to share things in your life with them. I remember when I first told my coworkers. I’m pretty sure they all thought I was a floozy. Then I made them watch videos of me. To their surprise, I was dressed and even bare footed. They quickly realised I wasn’t a stripper and I truly do just Pole Dance. They’ve even attended a performance of mine.

I do tell a few people what I do for my workout and it appears that Pole Dancing is slowly making a name for itself. People are starting to realize that there is an art to it. People enjoy listening to me talk about my performances, whether they are great or not.

No matter who I talk to I automatically start feeling them out to decide whether or not I can come out and say that I pole dance. I hope that this soon changes and I can talk about it openly.

Have You Experienced This?

What do you tell people when they ask what your workout regime is?

The great thing about Pole… It’s whatever you make it or want it to be. There are no rules. Sometimes having a little unknown fact about yourself is nice.

As for the picture at the top of this article… This was my way of showing my colleagues what I do! I was at work and decided to let people know what I did by jumping on the round beam In the middle of the floor 🙂

Category: Beginners, Featured

About Stefanie Decker

Hi! My name is Stefanie Decker and I Pole Dance.

I have always been into fitness. Having taught Pilates for 3+ years, I was in excellent shape. I was seriously injured in a car accident and had to stop working out altogether because I could barely walk, which resulted in low self esteem, depression and overall poor health.

I was invited to a 'Pole Party' a coworker was having. Feeling obligated to go, I did. I'm thankful I did because I've been addicted to Pole ever since. Poling is one of the hardest workouts I've ever done. The cardio in itself is ridiculous. The strength I've gained is immeasurable and the confidence is ever growing.

It's fun, it's challenging, it's different and it's instant.

Pole has changed my life in so many ways. I'm confident in my own skin, I pay more attention to my body, I appreciate myself and I not only feel like I'm AWESOME I know I AM! :)

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13 Comments to “When The Elephant in The Room is a Pole”

  1. adrienne says:

    Great article. I however love the shock and surprize when I tell people what I do for work and fun. Many peoples mouth drops and they are speechless.
    Im proud of what I do and what I have achieved. We are judged on everything we do, so why worry.
    Aid xx

    • Stefanie says:

      You’re so right! We are judged, no matter what. I love the fact that you pointed out peoples reactions! I’ve never had a frowny face after I’ve told someone that I pole dance, now that I think about it. 🙂


  2. Gemma says:

    I just straight up tell people that I’m a pole dancer, and before they can even ask, I say “no, not a stripper, I’m a pole athlete”. It must work because no one’s questioned it 🙂

  3. Christy says:

    I completely understand. It’s difficult to tell people. Especially here in the Bible Belt. And telling men why your body is transforming is especially difficult because they immediately think “wow she’s a stripper!!” NOT. But I personally don’t care that much what they think. Let them be surprised or disappointed or whatever. IMO that’s what they deserve for making assumptions. And honestly speaking for me it’s a little fun to see their faces and watch their expressions change. Its part of the thrill and excitement of pole dancing!! Of course my boyfriend LOVES that I pole dance. And his opinion matters more than MOST others. So yeah let them talk. I don’t care. It works for me and I love it.

    • Stefanie says:

      I’ve found that most men automatically think “sexual”… Until they see exactly what I do. Then, they applaud the strength. (still finding it sexy)


  4. Lauren says:

    I always tell people I participate in Aerial Dance. 😉 When they start asking questions, I just hand over my instructor’s business card.

  5. JP says:

    I consider myself a very active person and enjoy participating, competing, watching, and talking anything sports related. I have never and most likely will never pole dance, but I am extremely amazed at the women who have the confidence and ability to do it and most importantly BE GOOD AT IT!!! I have watched several videos of pole dancing and recently attended a live performance. I must say, I was extremely taken back by the athleticism, strength, and stamina of all the ladies I watched. I was truly mesmerized during each performance and will definitely attend another ASAP! Kudos to all the ladies out there that can ROCK THE POLE!!!!!

  6. Jazmin says:

    I am not a pole girl, but my mom is.

    We have the pole and mirrors in an open area right infront of the entry way. Whenever new people come over they are floored by what they see- assuming that we have crazy late night parties. I always explain that no, my mom is not a stripper, but that she is a remarkable woman. I’m proud to say my mom poles. I’ve seen so many changes in her since she started. She is beautiful and now has the confidence to go with it.

  7. Gemma says:

    I got bored of trying to second guess people’s reaction so if it comes up in conversation I just tell them then educate them if they ask any stupid questions 😉

  8. PoleFitRach says:

    At first I was too nervous to tell anyone, but after a couple of months I was so in love I just tell everyone straight up if they ask me what I do for a hobby! I think if you have loads of support from the people you pole with I think it makes all the difference! Since I joined Active Cherry Fitness in Eastbourne I’ve become much more confident about being myself, as the ladies and gents there are so supportive of me!! Xoxox

    • Stefanie decker says:

      I loved all of the comments on this article. A whole had passed since I wrote this article and I still have the same issues. I have recently decided that it’s not the other people I’m worried about. It’s ME! I’m tired of people saying “you have a stripper pole?”… From now on I’m just going to say “Yes!”. And let them either ask more questions or keep them guessing. 🙂

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