How The Joy of Christmas Helped Me To Get Back On The Pole Again

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How The Joy of Christmas Helped Me To Get Back On The Pole Again

I’ve been struggling with my joints for the last four months, since September my pole was left alone covered with dust. Every time I wanted to jump back on it my body stopped me from doing so – what if the pain got worse? What if I wasn’t able to move the next day? Actually I was too much of a coward to even try and see what would happen if I did.

Well, the months went on and – of course – I lost the strength in my body and was not happy at all. To be honest, I was desperate and angry and that desperation made a big impact on the rest of my social life and on my grades at University. I could not stand myself, every time I looked in the mirror there was just that little dumb girl without stamina and full of hatred. I hated myself, I hated all the people who were healthy and able to do anything they wanted. I even hated my mother for giving birth to a total failure, some nights I wished I was never born. It was really horrible and writing about it makes me feel really ashamed because actually I know there are a lot of people who are in worse conditions than me. But maybe these thoughts helped me to overcome my fears and will even help me to become a stronger person step by step.

Because a few days ago something really strange happened. Call it the joy of Christmas or a coincidence. It was one of these days when everything goes wrong and you just want to lock yourself up in a room to be alone. But I did not do so, I put on my sportswear and started working out. The last months I’ve tried some moves once in a while and every time it has been a total disaster, I failed and hurt my joints, but this time I wasn’t even that bad! Well, by now I lack in strength and I totally lack in flexibility but I was able to even sit on the pole without falling on the ground after ten seconds.

What had happened? I have been able to do a more or less beautiful static split grip. Then I tried what we called a “swan reverse” in pole class. And besides my footwork it did not even look that bad! And it felt great! It was a rush of feelings and emotions, I wanted to laugh out loudly and cry at the same time, maybe it is a bit difficult to understand which forces have been at work inside my little body when I realised I would not have to start again from total zero. But believe me, it feels like a firework with butterflies and candy inside the heart, it is warming and pushes you to the total limit. A few hours after the workout my arms still felt like they would fall off my body any second. But that “pain” was so worth it, it makes you realise that there still exists good pain in the body which shapes it and does not destroy it. Writing these lines I am still excited and happy, the pole is just like a drug to me and I am so thankful for the best Christmas gift I could have got, being able to feel the joy of pole dancing again.

Now I am totally excited to improve my skills again and to get back on my sexy pole!
Because F* you, rheumatoid arthritis, your dictatorship is over now!

Category: Discussion

About Julia Gefahrt

Hey there PoleFreaks!

My name is Julia Gefahrt and I am from Salzburg, Austria. I have been dedicated to the pole for a few years now, but just recently I really started pole dancing. For a long time I was too afraid of trying it because of my disease. I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis which is an illness that destroys your joints and sometimes even your muscles or organs.

But pole dancing helped me to feel better in my body and to stem the pain. It makes me happy and I am lucky that I tried it! In my blog I want to talk about pole dancing in the teeth of rheumatoid arthritis. I want to focus on the good sides, but sometimes it will also be necessary to concentrate on the dark sides of my hobby. I am hoping that maybe I will be able to inspire you guys and to point out that you don’t have to be 100% physically fit to have fun on the pole.

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