6 Motivational Tips: How To Pull Yourself Together When You Feel Like Giving Up

After my article on 8 Things You Didn’t Know Before Entering A Pole Dance Class my dearest friends said that thanks to my “advertising” nobody would ever try pole dancing. “Mission accomplished,” – I thought, gleefully rubbing my hands and nastily giggling just like Dr. Evil. So now all the potential competitors vanished in the blue, we can move on and discuss all those things that truly matter.

Some months ago I got in a situation when the sky wasn’t blue any more, grass wasn’t green any longer and the pole was spinning in the wrong direction. I guess I’m not the only one who has had this moment of desperation when you feel like giving it all up. What do you do when your pole world has come to an end? I’d like to share some things that really gave me a magical kick in the ass in that situation:

1. Who’s Awesome? You’re Awesome!

Never forget that among all your friends saying “wow, I wish I could do all these tricks” you’re actually the only one who pulled herself together and had the courage to start. So why not to praise yourself at least for that?

2. Take A Week Off

I personally hate this tip ’cause I’m still in the “pole-sick brain” phase and faint every time I need to skip a class. Nevertheless, sending everything to hell and taking a week-break might be really useful – both your body and soul will have a well-deserved rest to let you return to the classes, full of energy and enthusiasm.

3. One Step Back = Two Steps Forward

Stop struggling with advanced tricks and get back to the very basics – polish the beginners moves you know, make them look smooth and pay attention to the smallest details to fall in love with your own reflection.

4. Set REALISTIC Goals

I’m pretty sure that most of us watch pole dancing competitions on YouTube and secretly wish to be like all those hyper-flexible girls performing mind-blowing tricks. Let’s be honest, the majority of us will never make it. Not because we’re lazy but due to pure physiology – if your back is as flexible as a wooden log (just like mine), you’re very unlikely to bend back like Anastasia Skukhtorova even after years of stretching (I know, I tried). So give up whining and blaming yourself for what you’ll never have and develop your strong sides.

5. Pick Up A REALISTIC Role Model

This tip goes along with the previous one – pick up a girl among your mates who you truly admire, and strive to be just like her. I’m lucky to have a super-strong girl in my class who does amazing tricks. My logic is simple – unlike extreme flexibility, strength is something that can be obtained, so if she can, why can’t I? And her achievements really push me forward.

6. Shoot Photos & Videos Of Your Tricks

If you haven’t yet made any photos and videos of your tricks, it’s high time you start doing it. That’s the best way of tracking your own success and evaluating objectively the long way you’ve gone through. Only looking at my own 1-year old photos I can fully realize what I’ve actually achieved.

Moving on through the times of despair is challenging, but after all nobody said it would be easy. So if you can’t dance towards your goal, lie in its direction and at a certain point you’ll surely stand up. As you might notice, I personally use positive motivation to move on. Slogans like “sack up” never worked for me – what would you recommend?

Comments From the PoleFreaks Community:

  1. I definitely get this. Strength plateaus. Flexibility plateaus. …not exactly weight loss since I stopped worrying about that, but flabby bits that haven’t shrunk in a year. I keep going because I’ve made friends with the others in my class. Eventually I’ll remember to love it again.

    Also, one day I will manage Iron X.

  2. I disagree with what you say about getting flexible and to not try to achieve that, but instead pick out someone to “be just like”. I say, set a goal for YOURSELF and follow through. Only you know your strengths and limitations. I have degenerative disc disease in my back and started pole for that reason. I didn’t want surgery. I am 40 years old and have been self learning pole for almost two years. I can do a back bend and the splits now and almost all of the difficult tricks you see the pros doing. I have become an instructor at my age and in no time at all. It just took a lot of motivation and goal-setting. So, it really is up to the individual as to how far they want to take their pole journey. I’m taking mine all the way! I do agree with what you said about hitting a wall, so to speak, and needing to get back to basics and polish up your easier moves. I think feeling good about what I have accomplished thus far, drives me to keep pushing for those difficult moves. And when I nail them, I feel so bad-ass! That is part of what motivated me, SUCCESS! Every time I saw myself getting better, I wanted to achieve more. So if you want to be able to do an elbow grip Ayesha, you CAN! If you want to do the splits, you CAN! If you want to get strong and flexible to avoid back surgery, you CAN and I DID!

  3. Christina, that’s really awesome that you managed to achieve that much – i admire you!

    When I was speaking about flexibility, I meant the back flexibility. I agree with you that you that splits are achieable for everyone. But when it comes to back flexibility – I was speaking about my own experience. Unfortunately I’ve got a very unflexible back and even 7 years of gymnastics and 6 years of dancing didn’t help me. So if you can do all those extreme advanced things when you bend back and touch your legs with your head – it’s fantastic.

    1. Thank you. I can’t quite touch my head to the back of my knees yet, but I keep stretching and hope one day I will be closer. I was able to teach a former gymnast how to ease into doing handstands when she was never able to do them before and she felt so good and so did I! I think this is what drives most of us to keep going. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, so we will all have a different experience with poling. I am so happy to be able to share with and gain knowledge from the pole community and people like you. Thank you sharing your story and experiences with me. 🙂

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